miscarriage: the big secret

01May10

As I stated in my last post, I recently suffered a miscarriage.  It was probably the most painful loss I’ve experienced thus far in life.  Here’s how it happened.

I had some brown spotting starting on a Monday or Tuesday.  I wasn’t concerned, because I know many women experience spotting sometime during their pregnancies.  However, Thursday morning it turned into bright red spotting.  I called my doctor, and the person on the other line suggested I go to the emergency room.  I knew in my heart that if I was truly having a miscarriage, there is NOTHING anyone can do to stop this from happening.  So I continued on with my day.  I even had a conversation with my baby.  I told him that I would love for him to stick around, but if he didn’t feel up to it, that he could go home.  (For some reason, I just know my baby was a boy!) Early the next morning, the really bad cramps and heavy bleeding came.  I went to get an ultrasound and it turns out that everything had passed on it’s own.  I’m so thankful I didn’t need to have a D&C.

Here’s what surprises me the most about miscarriage:  no one talks about it.  I had a few cousins on my husband’s side go through miscarriages about a year ago.  Were it not for them, I would have been blown away.  After I miscarried, that’s when all the other stories about aunts, grandmothers, and other relatives and friends who miscarried come up.

I’ve been reading blogs on pregnancy and childbirth for about 6 months, and I’ve never seen the subject come up until today.  While searching for something else, I came across this post.  I love how she expresses her feelings, and the happy ending!! I guess pregnant women don’t like to hear stories of loss.  Most people on the pregnancy/childbirth blogs are already past the first trimester and it’s generally not an issue for them anymore.  However, I believe that if 15% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, it should be discussed more!! People need to know that it’s normal, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, and you CAN go on to have a healthy baby.

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